Monday, July 11, 2011

The Return of the Vomit Cougher or Bad Neighbors Redux

I must have preternaturally excellent hearing. I wrote about it, likening it to a dog's, here.

Bad Neighbor One:

For I HAVE heard, and the Vomit Cougher has returned. I first wrote about her here. It was more than a month's worth of peace, but now the 2 am calm of Honolulu is once more broken by THAT COUGH.

What am I doing awake at 2 am? It's not by design or desire. It's my bladder talking to me.

So I struggle out of a deep sleep and warm bed to the quiet of the tiled room with lots of plumbing. And hear THAT COUGH. I can't explain how disgusting THAT SOUND is. I'll try to approximate it.

UUUUU- WAH! No, it's much worse than I could ever write. And, there's more.

At 2 am in the morning, whether it's a school/work day, or not, the Vomit Cougher is TALKING. She is saying sweet nothings to her SO in a Vomit Cougher voice SO LOUD, I can clearly hear what she is saying. It's as if she were right outside my window.

I do not want to hear the nothings, much less the VOMIT COUGHING. I retreat to the dark and warmth of the bedroom, to the peace and quiet and calm.

Thankfully, I'm at work for most of the day, so I miss most of the daylight VOMIT COUGHING. Unless it's my day off. sigh.

Bad Neighbor Two:

The other day, I was eating breakfast and could hear the neighbor upstairs. I said this to the DH, who, with the table between us, could blissfully NOT hear her. She is SO loud, he finally heard her in her kitchen - on the FOURTH FLOOR - when we crossed the parking lot to leave on errands. Then he nodded as he understood what I meant earlier.


Bad Neighbor Three:

We've been out on our lanai, putting items in the storage units we purchased that the DH has put together. When the wind blows the right wrong way, the smell of cat shit and piss is overwhelming. We try not to spend much time on that end of the lanai. After the Incident, the neighbor hastily constructed a plywood barrier. Since then, no Unwelcome Messes have been discovered. The irony is that Bad Neighbor Two complains bitterly about the smells!

Bad Neighbor Four:

And I can often hear her say, "Oh, honey..." and figure out that her husband is due to hear an earful! In fact, this may be why we see him in the parking lot fixing his motorcycle almost every day - to escape from her!

There is a condo association rule that prohibits folks from car/motorbike repairs that was added some years ago when someone took to fixing not only his, but friends' bikes.

But I will let someone who has told me the sound of that motorcycle drives her crazy let him know about the rule. She is the wife of the building manager.

Possible New Bad Neighbor Five:

I hear a chicken clucking. It must be a hen, because I don't hear crowing. This sound is almost as close to my window as the Vomit Cougher. sigh.

Do you have bad neighbors? Are they worse than these? I feel your pain!

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