Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Don't Come to the Library, Part Four of WTDTYiLS

Don't come to the library for a play date. The library is NOT a playground. It's not meant for playing chase master, throwing balls and toys (including the stuffed toys who live quietly in the Children's Section), drinking apple juice (and if you asked me I would tell you that's full of sugar) and blowing soap bubbles. And why are the ADULTS taking the lead with the latter two?

If your children don't or won't behave, don't bring them to the library. It would be a kindness to the rest of us, patrons and staff alike, because we have to listen to them misbehave, cry and this is a pretty good sign they don't want to be there.

Don't come to the library if you think you are special and you're exempt from the rules and are unable to follow them! Under my theory of control, there would be NO RULES if everyone behaved using common sense and thought about how their actions affect others.

So, DON'T tell your fellow browsers which books they should read and give them the plot summary of a whole list of books YOU think is required reading. Eventually, they get defensive and do the same to YOU, so eventually you'll have no fellow patrons to discuss with, and you may even turn to ~shudder~ me.

I never tell patrons what to read. I rarely read what other librarians suggest. My choices vary too much, and the writing needs to be as good as the story is compelling. The premise of readers' advisory is that the reader comes to you for advice, not that you just give it!

Don't come to the library if you expect the Internet connection on the computers to be consistent and fast. Sorry, they are consistently slow. If they happen to be fast, that is an anomaly and probably won't happen again. I said, the fact that they are fast, THAT is an ANOMALY. And don't expect the situation to improve with getting more computers. More computers just means more of a load on the Internet pipe!

And don't tell me you think hackers are keeping you from emailing the entire text of a news article to your 20 closest friends when you're sending them ONE at a TIME. I suggested that you send the link instead, but since I don't want to talk to you about hackers, you'll need to figure out bcc on your own! And if you ARE a diplomat, why do you spend so much time watching music videos?

Don't come to the library if you think your neighbors have implanted an RFID chip in you, because I'm pretty sure we can't help you. Even the science and tech section probably can't, and they know more about that stuff than I do!

Yes, this has been Part Four of What They Don't Teach You in Library School and I have personally experienced all of the above.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three